Hey, it's Nathan. Welcome to Human Systems 101 Sef-Study. In this first section, you'll learn our specific and rigorous definition of 🌳 Personal Values as well as how to separate them from fuzzy concepts, goals, and expectations. This is the foundation of values-based design. You won't be able to proceed without it. As a warning, this class teaches you skills. Getting good at them is going to be hard work. But as you saw in the kickoff, it's worth it. See you in the dojo!
Check your progress as you go: [approx. 2.5hrs]
What do you mean by "value/values"?
People have deeply different ideas about the words "value" and "values". Before going deeper into the Human Systems design method, you'll need clear definitions. Outline your current understandings so you can ask the right questions later. It's ok to have multiple and/or contradictory ideas. Even if you just have a vague notion, it's useful to write it down!
Brain-dump/stream of consciousness: What does "value" mean? What does "values" mean?
Hint: you may have lots of concepts about values: corporate values, money and expensive things, moral virtue, etc... Write down everything that comes to mind.
What are 🌳 personal values in Human Systems?
In Human Systems, a "personal value" refers to two things: an experience and a phrase.
Personal value (experience): A personal value is an aspect of your perception, usually referred to as wisdom, inspiration, appreciation, or admiration. It's what makes your heart sing when you're following hard-earned wisdom and life is unfolding well. It's what you feel in your body when you appreciate the beauty of nature. It's what you see when you admire someone for the way they live. It's being inspired regarding how to handle a situation well. There are so many choices you could make as you move through the world. Personal values guide your attention down a path, and make the most inherently worthwhile choices stand out.
Note: This is one reason that non-values can be easily bundled up with personal values. Goals and expectations also guide your attention and make potential choices stand out.
Learn more about the experience of personal values and non-values:
First, read this article by Joe:
Then go to a park, pick up a stone, and press play on this 11 minute meditation by Nathan (or if you're stuck indoors, pick up a balled-up sock and use your imagination)
First, read this article by Nathan about the different motivations you explored in the kickoff:
Then take this test to see if you've got it down:
Personal value (phrase): Building on what was said above... when you articulate the experience of a personal value in words, you capture patterns of appreciation, admiration, and wisdom regarding how to live well. This definition of personal values (clear, awareness-guiding, improvisational directives that, when followed, are meaningful in themselves) is what we will mean throughout the course. It is the foundation of good values-based designs.
Note: This is another reason that non-values can be easily confused with personal values. Unclear, outcome-oriented, fuzzy concepts are often also called "values".
Learn more about a rigorous definition of personal values:
When people talk about values, they often use fuzzy concepts like honesty, kindness, authenticity, and compassion. Those words can (and do) mean different things to different people. In order to do good values-based design, you will need be much more specific about what the value means. Here are some examples of well articulated values:
- honesty: speak about whatever is alive in your body as well as the needs, fears, and desires that that indicates
- kindness: support others in discovering and enacting their best understanding of self-care
- authenticity: approach your day with slow sincerity, calm and concerned about how to best respond to the moment
- compassion: approach other people's faults with humility and compassion, relating to them in a way that is deeply mindful of your own imperfections, and how you often fail to meet your own standards or even make good sense
Remember: values look quite different, depending on the person who holds them. These definitions of honesty, kindness, authenticity, and compassion are just mine. And I also have other related 🌳 Personal Values if you dig around a bit. — Nathan
Questions?
Your trainer will be available to answer them in the dojo. Write everything down that you don't quite understand, so you don't forget to ask.
A lot of what we do socially is aimed at controlling outcomes, meeting expectations, setting expectations, etc. We also want and expect things from ourselves. What people usually call "values" are actually broad concepts that bundle together values, goals, and expectations.
The short meditations below (about 10 minutes each) will help you start recognizing these confusions and "purifying" your values, separating them from goals and expectations.
This short reflection will help you to start to recognize the difference between expectations and personal values.
Think of a way you try to be. Maybe you try to be generous, kind, helpful or a good listener. Whatever it is, write it down here:
Using the word above, answer these questions one at a time. (slowly works best)
1) To seem this way to others, I've been:
2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:
3) And people I admire for being this way inspire me because they are:
Now compare the first answer with the second and third. Are there any interesting or surprising differences?
The experience of attention being guided by goals/expectations or values is quite different. Sorting out that difference in yourself trains your intuition to recognize confusions in others.
"Shoulds"
Expectations. Think back to situations when your actions were guided by an expectation and how you felt in that moment. Try to remember 3 moments when you:
1. tried to create expectations about how to behave by setting an example or pressuring others (creating norms, ideology, social modeling)
2. tried to meet an expectation, tried to fit in (followed a norm)
3. tried to pressure yourself to live up to a certain standard, image, or expectation (followed an internalized norm)
"Coulds"
Values. Think back to situations when your actions were guided by a value and how you felt in that moment. Try to remember 2 moments when you:
1. observed a person being some way that was inspiring to you / you thought was really cool?
2. acted in a way that seemed like an expression of your self.
"Feelings"
Feeling patterns. Can you feel a difference in how you felt in your body when your actions were motivated by the shoulds (norms) vs the coulds (values)?
feelings in should moments:
feelings in could moments:
These feelings serve as a heuristic for recognizing if you are being guided by expectations or values. Once you can quickly sort yourself out, you'll be better able to tell the difference in other people. We call that skill 🥂Values Empathy. If you're not there yet, repeat this meditation on a piece of paper.
The real difference between expectations and values lies inside any word or concept. It's a matter of how things resonate with you (as a source of inspiration or pressure). You'll start to get a "feel" for the difference between social performance and personal values that will be the foundation of your values-based design skills.
Think of a way you try to be. Maybe you try to be generous, kind, helpful or a good listener. Whatever it is, write it down here:
Using the word above, answer these questions one at a time. (slowly works best)
1) To seem this way to others, I've been:
2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:
Now choose a word from the "on my own terms" box (above), and answer these questions:
1) To seem this way to others, I've been:
2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:
Now choose a word from the "on my own terms" box (above), and answer these questions:
1) To seem this way to others, I've been:
2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:
Now choose a word from the "on my own terms" box (above), and answer these questions:
1) To seem this way to others, I've been:
2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:
Now choose a word from the "on my own terms" box (above), and answer these questions:
1) To seem this way to others, I've been:
2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:
Questions?
Your trainer will be available to answer them in the dojo. Write everything down that you don't quite understand, so you don't forget to ask.
Articulated personal values are the foundation of good values-based designs. So make sure your formulation is on point. Your personal value should be a clear, awareness-guiding, improvisational directive. These three critera interpenetrate, but you can find examples and help below.
Start by writing a pure personal value from one of your "on my own terms" answers:
approach things _____, treat people _____, act (with) _____, keep things _____, live life ______
Personal Value:
Serge:
Treat people with curiosity as if they are mirrors of the greater, unconscious aspects of myself and as unique sources of insight into the landscape of my inner worlds
Nathan:
Live life in a way that supports others in discovering and enacting their best understanding of self-care
Value phrases can be too vague to be useful for design. Make sure your phrase names something specific enough that it could guide a person's choices.
Could a random person fully understand this if they just read it?
Bad formulations
- "Community". Imagine asking a theater director how you should play a friendship scene, and she says "community". I think you see the problem here.
- "Be Kind". Again, it's not clear how I could approach the situation, or what potential choices should stand out. I can't design with this formulation of my value.
- "Approaching things with a concrete sense of philosophical equanimity". What does that even mean? Often people will come up with a value that sounds interesting, poetic, or smart, but is actually so abstract that it doesn't matter to them in direct experience.
Make your value "clear" by asking these questions:
When you manage to live by your personal value, what are you noticing? What specific aspects of the situation should your personal value phrase bring into the foreground?
Use that information to rephrase your value in terms that anyone could understand:
approach things _____, treat people _____, act (with) _____, keep things _____, live life ______
Better Formulation of a value around "how to be while criticizing people"
When you manage to live by your value, what are you noticing? What specific aspects of the situation should your value phrase bring into the foreground?
What I notice, and need to foreground: That we're both human beings, and that I make mistakes all the time, and that I often don't handle things the way I would have wanted to
How would you tell an actor to be in a scene where they make choices based on that?
Personal Value: approach other people's faults with humility and compassion, relate to them in a way that is deeply mindful of your own mistakes and imperfections
Personal value phrases tell you how to approach a situation. They foreground relevant choices.
Does it tell me what I should be paying attention to right now?
Bad formulations
- "Criticize people in a way that doesn't upset them". This is clear, but doesn't show me where I should direct my awareness. (It's about a goal with other people).
- "Stay calm, and don't take things too personally". This is perhaps decent advice, but it also doesn't help me focus my awareness on relevant choices.
- "Stick together through thick and thin". I can imagine what I'm supposed to do, but like "stay calm", it won't guide me towards what is important when I am making real choices.
Make your value "awareness-guiding" by asking these questions:
Where should you direct your attention in order to live by this personal value?
Use that information to rephrase your personal value and make those things stand out:
approach things _____, treat people _____, act (with) _____, keep things _____, live life ______
Better Formulation of a value around "how to be while receiving criticism"
I need to figure out where to direct my attention. Not what to do, but how is it important to be when people are criticizing me.
Where should you direct your attention in order to live by this personal value?: Stay open to connection. Trust the person behind the mirror that they are holding up to me.
Rephrase the personal value to make those things stand out:
Personal Value: connect fearlessly, stay in touch with the person and the relationship, even when you don't want to see what they are showing you.
A value doesn't tell you what is going on or what to do about it. It's an improvisational directive that helps you recognize opportunities to be a certain way. Is your personal value phrase just an instruction? Or does your value remind you of how you'd like to approach a given social context?
With this in mind, do I get a feel for how to approach things?
Bad formulations
- "See the plank in my own eye when I look at the speck in yours". This might be capturing what inspires me when I reflect on my experience. But how would I improvise around this Biblical image?
- "Don't feel resigned and isolated in difficult situations". This points in the direction of something important, but also isn't actionable. It doesn't show me a way to proceed.
- "Recognize that other people aren't the final judge of who I am". This is also in the direction of something important. But it doesn't tell me anything about who I actually am.
Make your value an "improvisational directive" by asking these questions:
How would you tell an actor to approach a scene in which she lives by your personal value?
Use that information to rephrase your personal value to be more about how to proceed:
approach things _____, treat people _____, act (with) _____, keep things _____, live life ______
Better Formulation of a value around "how I want to treat my friends in tough times"
How would you tell an actor to approach a scene in which she lives by your personal value?: Think outside the box, and find solutions that could arise from collective efforts that wouldn't have been available to any one of you alone
Rephrase your personal value to be more about how to proceed:
Personal Value: keep things creative when friends are facing hardships, address problems collectively, draw on the wealth of your communal talents
Emotions point at what is important to us. You might be joyful at the sight of an old friend, or angry when you feel some injustice has taken place. But upon reflection, our emotions are not only about external circumstances. They can also point us toward our values, “ways of being” that are important to us, and which were either expressed (tends to feel great) or suppressed (tends to feel crummy).
Learn more about the connection between emotions and values here:
[5 minute read time]
Try out one of the foundational skills of the Human Systems design method: Emotions to Values. Remember: Practice makes perfect. The more you practice the Emotions to Values method, the more deeply you will understand it. If your house isn't on fire, do it at least twice.
Method: Emotions to Values
To begin with harvesting your own emotions, step back into your memory. Pick a situation you experienced in the past weeks that felt emotionally challenging for you. This worksheet is most interesting to go through for a situation that brought up challenging emotions that are linked to the situation itself (more than to general life problems or previous trauma). Here are some questions to help you flesh out your memory.
- Where were you? With whom? What happened? What emotions came up? How did they manifest in your body?
Type your answers here:
In step 1, you identified different emotions that came up. decide on the one that was most clear and present. Think about the immediate cause of the emotion.
Write down your emotion and its immediate cause.
Example: I felt frustrated because people were late.
Find the emotion that came up on the list below and click on the toggle to find some questions. Challenging emotions point us towards values that were blocked, that we could not attend to, that were suppressed and so on.
You'll find several questions—pick the one that seems most helpful, and take notes.
Hint: If the emotion you wrote down does not match the emotions listed beneath, go for the one that is closest.
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being has no space here?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being is not safe to emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being is not safe to emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
What way of being can you not bear to give up on?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
What way of being can you not bear to give up on?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living is overridden?
What value did you fail to live by?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you neglect?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you neglect?
What did you fail to prioritise?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you give up on?
What do you no longer trust yourself with?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living is estranged?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth recentering around?
What way of living is out of focus?
What way of living do you not know how to bring to this?
What ways of living seem to be in conflict with each other?
Take Notes:
What's worth recentering around?
What way of living is out of focus?
What way of living do you not know how to bring to this?
What ways of living seem to be in conflict with each other?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth demoting?
What way of living doesn't make sense anymore?
What's worth embracing?
What way of living will save the above?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
First look at examples.
Example:
Step 2 (emotions and immediate cause): I felt frustrated because people were late
Step 3 (value questions): What way of living is blocked? Treating my time as sacred
Emotion:
ex.: frustrated
Immediate Cause:
ex.: people were late
Value
treating time as sacred
I love following my curiosity to expand into the unknown. My job at the textile factory is very repetitive. It feels impossible to live that way there. I ends up leaving work each day feeling depressed.
Emotion:
depressed
Immediate Cause:
job is repetitive
Value
following curiosity to expand in to the unknown
I felt deeply hurt. It seemed unsafe to try to keep things respectful when I was under attack. How could my friend have said those cruel things about me?
Emotion:
hurt
Immediate Cause:
my friend said cruel things
Value
keep things respectful
Ex: Abeo’s desire to win the game had taken over. He felt guilty about having cheated. Deep in his heart, he wished that he had approached things honestly, and admitted that he had fouled his opponent.
Emotion:
guilt
Immediate Cause:
cheated in the game
Value
approach things honestly
Then use answers from steps 2 and 3. Find the emotion, immediate cause, and the value. Remember: a value is a way you could have approached things, a how that you believe in.
From Step 2:
Emotion:
| From Step 2/3
Immediate Cause:
| From Step 3:
Value
Hint: These pre-fixes are often helpful when articulating your value...
approaching things ___, treating people ___, acting ___, keeping things ___, living life ____
Eventually, you'll be able to tell if a personal value is ready for the big time. For now, make sure it isn't bundled up with non-values and is phrased well for design purposes by running it through the values gauntlet.
Personal values need to be pure and articulated. You've have the skills, now put them to use!
Begin by
Find a word or short phrase that captures your value (a way of being). Write it down:
Using the word above, answer these questions one at a time. (slowly works best)
1) To seem this way to others, I've been:
2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:
3) And people I admire for being this way inspire me because they are:
How would you name your value now?
Use your answers to 2) and/or 3). Write it here:
approach things ___, treat people ___, act ___, keep things ___, live life __
Then continue by
asking these questions to make sure you have a "pure value".
Note: your value might already be spot on. If so, you don't need to answer the questions.
- Would it still be worth doing independent of the outcome? If so, continue to the next bullet point. If not, it's a goal or fear! Take notes below.
- Would it still be worth doing if no one knew you did it? If so, continue to the next question. If not, it's a social norm. Take notes below.
- Do you believe you could still be a good person even if you failed to be this way? If so, continue to the next question. If not, it's an internalized social norm. Take notes below.
- Would it still be worth being this way if no one else ever joined in? If so, (after all the questions above) it's probably a value! If not, it’s an ideological commitment. Take notes below.
"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if I couldn't affect the outcome?"
"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if no one noticed?"
"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if there were no rules?"
"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if I couldn't influence anyone?
Use any relevant answers to write out your value below.
Note: your value might already be spot on. If so, you don't need to answer the questions.
Personal Value:
Is your value "clear"? If not, answer these questions:
When you manage to live by your personal value, what are you noticing? What specific aspects of the situation should your personal value phrase bring into the foreground?
Use that information to rephrase your value in non-poetic terms that anyone could understand:
approach things _____, treat people _____, act (with) _____, keep things _____, live life ______
Better Formulation of a value around "how to be while criticizing people"
When you manage to live by your value, what are you noticing? What specific aspects of the situation should your value phrase bring into the foreground?
What I notice, and need to foreground: That we're both human beings, and that I make mistakes all the time, and that I often don't handle things the way I would have wanted to
How would you tell an actor to be in a scene where they make choices based on that?
Personal Value: approach other people's faults with humility and compassion, relate to them in a way that is deeply mindful of your own imperfections
Is your value "awareness-guiding"? If not, ask these questions:
Where should you direct your attention in order to live by this personal value?
Use that information to rephrase your personal value and make those things stand out:
approach things _____, treat people _____, act (with) _____, keep things _____, live life ______
Better Formulation of a value around "how to be while receiving criticism"
I need to figure out where to direct my attention. Not what to do, but how is it important to be when people are criticizing me.
Where should you direct your attention in order to live by this personal value?: Stay open to connection. Trust the person behind the mirror that they are holding up to me.
Rephrase the personal value to make those things stand out:
Personal Value: connect fearlessly, don't lose touch with the person and the relationship, even when you don't want to see what they are showing you.
Is your value an "improvisational directive"? If not, ask these questions:
How would you tell an actor to approach a scene in which she lives by your personal value?
Use that information to rephrase your personal value to be more about how to proceed:
approach things _____, treat people _____, act (with) _____, keep things _____, live life ______
Better Formulation of a value around "how I want to treat my friends in tough times"
How would you tell an actor to approach a scene in which she lives by your personal value?: Think outside the box, and find solutions that could arise from collective efforts that wouldn't have been available to any one of you alone
Rephrase your personal value to be more about how to proceed:
Personal Value: keep things creative when friends are facing hardships, address problems collectively, draw on the wealth of your communal talents
Prepare for the 🥋 Dojo
You're almost ready for your first meeting with a Human Systems trainer. In your "dojo", you'll be able to ask questions and practice the techniques you've learned. This section will bring everything together to uncover other people's values in what we call "💡Epiphany Interviews".