Method: Harvesting your values starting from emotions
To begin with harvesting your own emotions, step back into your memory. Pick a situation you experienced in the past weeks that felt emotionally challenging for you. This worksheet is most interesting to go through for a situation that brought up challenging emotions that are linked to the situation itself (more than to general life problems or previous trauma). Here are some questions to help you flesh out your memory.
- Where were you? With whom? What happened? What emotions came up? How did they manifest in your body?
Type your answers here:
In step 1, you identified different emotions that came up. decide on the one that was most clear and present. Think about the immediate cause of the emotion.
Write down your emotion and its immediate cause.
Example: I felt frustrated because people were late.
Find the emotion that came up on the list below and ask yourself some of the remove: prompting questions. Challenging emotions point us towards values that were blocked, that we could not attend to, that were suppressed and so on.
If the emotion you wrote down does not match the emotions listed beneath, go for the one that is closest. For each emotion, you'll find several questions—pick the one that seems most helpful, and take notes.
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being has no space here?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being is not safe to emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being is not safe to emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
What way of being can you not bear to give up on?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
What way of being can you not bear to give up on?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living is overridden?
What value did you fail to live by?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you neglect?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you neglect?
What did you fail to prioritise?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you give up on?
What do you no longer trust yourself with?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living is estranged?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth recentering around?
What way of living is out of focus?
What way of living do you not know how to bring to this?
What ways of living seem to be in conflict with each other?
Take Notes:
What's worth recentering around?
What way of living is out of focus?
What way of living do you not know how to bring to this?
What ways of living seem to be in conflict with each other?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth demoting?
What way of living doesn't make sense anymore?
What's worth embracing?
What way of living will save the above?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
First look at examples.
Example:
Step 2 (emotions and immediate cause): I felt frustrated because people were late
Step 3 (value questions): What way of living is blocked? Treating my time as sacred
Emotion:
ex.: frustrated
Immediate Cause:
ex.: people were late
Value
treating time as sacred
I love following my curiosity to expand into the unknown. My job at the textile factory is very repetitive. It feels impossible to live that way there. I ends up leaving work each day feeling depressed.
Emotion:
depressed
Immediate Cause:
job is repetitive
Value
following curiosity to expand in to the unknown
I felt deeply hurt. It seemed unsafe to try to keep things respectful when I was under attack. How could my friend have said those cruel things about me?
Emotion:
hurt
Immediate Cause:
my friend said cruel things
Value
keep things respectful
Ex: Abeo’s desire to win the game had taken over. He felt guilty about having cheated. Deep in his heart, he wished that he had approached things honestly, and admitted that he had fouled his opponent.
Emotion:
guilt
Immediate Cause:
cheated in the game
Value
approach things honestly
Then use answers from steps 2 and 3. Find the emotion, immediate cause, and the value. Remember: a value is a way you could have approached things, a how that you believe in.
From Step 2:
Emotion:
| From Step 2/3
Immediate Cause:
| From Step 3:
Value
Hint: These pre-fixes are often helpful when articulating your value...
approaching things ___, treating people ___, acting ___, keeping things ___, living life ____
Make sure that your value isn't polluted with norms, goals, fears, etc.
Find a word or short phrase that captures your value (a way of being). Write it down:
Using the word above, answer these questions one at a time. (slowly works best)
1) To seem this way to others, I've been:
2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:
3) And people I admire for being this way inspire me because they are:
How would you name your value now?
Use your answers to 2) and/or 3). Write it here:
approaching things ___, treating people ___, acting ___, keeping things ___, living life __
- Would it still be worth doing independent of the outcome? If so, continue to the next bullet point. If not, it's a goal or fear! Take notes below.
- Would still be worth doing if no one knew you did it? If so, continue to the next question. If not, it's a social norm. Take notes below.
- Do you believe you could still be a good person even if you failed to be this way? If so, continue to the next question. If not, it's an internalized social norm. Take notes below.
- Would it still be worth being this way if no one else ever joined in? If so, (after all the questions above) it's probably a value! If not, it’s an ideological commitment. Take notes below.
"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if I couldn't affect the outcome?"
"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if no one noticed?"
"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if there were no rules?"
"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if I couldn't influence anyone?
Use any relevant answers to write out your value below.
If you made it through the checklist, make one final draft that captures your value in the box below. If your value changed after the checklist, write your clarified 🌳 Personal Value in the box below using one of the following pre-fixes.
Sergio:
Treating people with curiosity as if they are mirrors of the greater, unconscious aspects of myself and as unique sources of insight into the landscape of my inner worlds
Anne:
Approaching scheduling as an ambitious agent of my one short life.
Nathan:
Living life in a way that supports others in discovering and enacting their best understanding of self-care
approaching things ___, treating people ___, acting ___, keeping things ___, living life ____