Emotions point at what is important to us. You might be joyful at the sight of an old friend, or angry when you feel some injustice has taken place. But upon reflection, our emotions are not only about external circumstances. They can also point us toward our values, “ways of being” that are important to us, and which were either expressed (tends to feel great) or suppressed (tends to feel crummy).
Method: Harvesting your values starting from emotions
To begin with harvesting your own emotions, step back into your memory. Pick a situation you experienced in the past weeks that felt emotionally challenging for you. This worksheet is most interesting to go through for a situation that brought up challenging emotions that are linked to the situation itself (more than to general life problems or previous trauma). Here are some questions to help you flesh out your memory.
- Where were you? With whom? What happened? What emotions came up? How did they manifest in your body?
Type your answers here:
In step 1, you identified different emotions that came up. decide on the one that was most clear and present. Think about the immediate cause of the emotion.
Write down your emotion and its immediate cause.
Example: I felt frustrated because people were late.
Find the emotion that came up on the list below and click on the toggle to find some questions. Challenging emotions point us towards values that were blocked, that we could not attend to, that were suppressed and so on.
You'll find several questions—pick the one that seems most helpful, and take notes.
Hint: If the emotion you wrote down does not match the emotions listed beneath, go for the one that is closest.
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being has no space here?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being is not safe to emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being is not safe to emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
What way of being can you not bear to give up on?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
What way of being can you not bear to give up on?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living is overridden?
What value did you fail to live by?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you neglect?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you neglect?
What did you fail to prioritise?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you give up on?
What do you no longer trust yourself with?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living is estranged?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth recentering around?
What way of living is out of focus?
What way of living do you not know how to bring to this?
What ways of living seem to be in conflict with each other?
Take Notes:
What's worth recentering around?
What way of living is out of focus?
What way of living do you not know how to bring to this?
What ways of living seem to be in conflict with each other?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth demoting?
What way of living doesn't make sense anymore?
What's worth embracing?
What way of living will save the above?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
First look at examples.
Example:
Step 2 (emotions and immediate cause): I felt frustrated because people were late
Step 3 (value questions): What way of living is blocked? Treating my time as sacred
Emotion:
ex.: frustrated
Immediate Cause:
ex.: people were late
Value
treating time as sacred
I love following my curiosity to expand into the unknown. My job at the textile factory is very repetitive. It feels impossible to live that way there. I ends up leaving work each day feeling depressed.
Emotion:
depressed
Immediate Cause:
job is repetitive
Value
following curiosity to expand in to the unknown
I felt deeply hurt. It seemed unsafe to try to keep things respectful when I was under attack. How could my friend have said those cruel things about me?
Emotion:
hurt
Immediate Cause:
my friend said cruel things
Value
keep things respectful
Ex: Abeo’s desire to win the game had taken over. He felt guilty about having cheated. Deep in his heart, he wished that he had approached things honestly, and admitted that he had fouled his opponent.
Emotion:
guilt
Immediate Cause:
cheated in the game
Value
approach things honestly
Then use answers from steps 2 and 3. Find the emotion, immediate cause, and the value. Remember: a value is a way you could have approached things, a how that you believe in.
From Step 2:
Emotion:
| From Step 2/3
Immediate Cause:
| From Step 3:
Value
Hint: These pre-fixes are often helpful when articulating your value...
approaching things ___, treating people ___, acting ___, keeping things ___, living life ____