Serge:

Nathan:

• "Community". Imagine asking a theater director how you should play a friendship scene, and she says "community". I think you see the problem here.
• "Be Kind". Again, it's not clear how I could approach the situation, or what potential choices should stand out. I can't design with this formulation of my value.
• "Approaching things with a concrete sense of philosophical equanimity". What does that even mean? Often people will come up with a value that sounds interesting, poetic, or smart, but is actually so abstract that it doesn't matter to them in direct experience.

• "Criticize people in a way that doesn't upset them". This is clear, but doesn't show me where I should direct my awareness. (It's about a goal with other people).
• "Stay calm, and don't take things too personally". This is perhaps decent advice, but it's also an instruction, and doesn't help me focus my awareness on relevant choices.
• "Stick together through thick and thin". I can imagine what I'm supposed to do, but it's still just an instruction. Like "stay calm", it won't guide me towards what is important when I am making real choices.

• "See the plank in my own eye when I look at the speck in yours". This might be capturing what inspires me when I reflect on my experience. But how would I act on this Biblical image? It's better to use less poetic language.
• "Don't feel resigned and isolated in difficult situations". This points in the direction of something important, but also isn't actionable. It doesn't really foreground choices that I could make.
• "Recognize that other people aren't the final judge of who I am". This is also in the direction of something important. But it wouldn't really foreground specific choices.

• The (right) equipment (to) remember, identity, find, arrange, collect, build, borrow ❓Do you need a special kind of equipment? What’s hard to do about knowing what you need or getting those things?
• The (right) people (to) identify, gather, select, find, get on board, convince, build relationships with ❓Does this value require a specific person? If so, what’s hard to do about gathering people who fit the criteria? What’s hard to do about knowing where to find them? What kind of information would you need to tell if someone is right? What’s hard to do about gathering that information? ❓What would you need to set up long in advance?
• The (right) time and timing (to) identify, notice, make, schedule ❓Does the moment need to be right? What would you need to be able to tell if the moment is right? What’s hard to do about evaluating that?
• The (right) setting (to) imagine, find, identify, set up, make, negotiate, decorate ❓Is this value easier in a specific setting? If so, what’s hard to do about creating that setting? ❓Do you need a certain mood or situation? If so, what’s hard to do about setting that mood / getting into that situation?

• Current capacity and needs (physical, intellectual, emotional) (to) Assess, bolster, provide support, keep in mind, make space for, listen to, ask about ❓What do you need to be capable of handling as it unfolds? What is hard to do about that?
• Skills, ability (to) Assess, bolster, practice, grow, accommodate, keep in mind
• Current mood/emotions (to) Assess, make space for, acknowledge, change plans for, improvise, change gears, model, foresee, track, keep in mind ❓What do you need to be able to feel? What’s hard to do about that? What’s hard to do about knowing when you’re ready to handle and feel those things? ❓Do you need a certain mood? What’s hard to do about setting that mood? ❓Does this value require a person to be in a specific state? If so, what’s hard to do about getting people into that state? What kind of information would you need in order to tell if someone is in the right state? What’s hard to do about gathering that info? Is the state you/they need to be in fragile? What’s hard to do about getting yourself/others there?
• Limiting beliefs (to) notice, identify, name, process, make time for, sit with, keep in mind, not get drawn into

• Sense of safety, trust (to) Assess, reassure, call to mind, remember, remind, provide support, keep in mind, ask about ❓Are there reasons it might be unsafe to do this? What kind of information do you need to decide? What’s hard to do about figuring out whether it’s safe in this particular situation?
• How might they see and understand me (to) model, assess, step into their shoes, remember, ask about, listen to, adjust course
• Status, Relationship Durability, Communication, Willingness to cooperate (to) assess, take into account, change, remember, remind, track over time, change, ignore, make space for, address

• The (right) equipment (to) remember, identity, find, arrange, collect, build, borrow ❓Do you need a special kind of equipment? What’s hard to do about knowing what you need or getting those things?
• The (right) people (to) identify, gather, select, find, get on board, convince, build relationships with ❓Does this value require a specific person? If so, what’s hard to do about gathering people who fit the criteria? What’s hard to do about knowing where to find them? What kind of information would you need to tell if someone is right? What’s hard to do about gathering that information? ❓What would you need to set up long in advance?
• The (right) time and timing (to) identify, notice, make, schedule ❓Does the moment need to be right? What would you need to be able to tell if the moment is right? What’s hard to do about evaluating that?
• The (right) setting (to) imagine, find, identify, set up, make, negotiate, decorate ❓Is this value easier in a specific setting? If so, what’s hard to do about creating that setting? ❓Do you need a certain mood or situation? If so, what’s hard to do about setting that mood / getting into that situation?

• Current capacity and needs (physical, intellectual, emotional) (to) Assess, bolster, provide support, keep in mind, make space for, listen to, ask about ❓What do you need to be capable of handling as it unfolds? What is hard to do about that?
• Skills, ability (to) Assess, bolster, practice, grow, accommodate, keep in mind
• Current mood/emotions (to) Assess, make space for, acknowledge, change plans for, improvise, change gears, model, foresee, track, keep in mind ❓What do you need to be able to feel? What’s hard to do about that? What’s hard to do about knowing when you’re ready to handle and feel those things? ❓Do you need a certain mood? What’s hard to do about setting that mood? ❓Does this value require a person to be in a specific state? If so, what’s hard to do about getting people into that state? What kind of information would you need in order to tell if someone is in the right state? What’s hard to do about gathering that info? Is the state you/they need to be in fragile? What’s hard to do about getting yourself/others there?
• Limiting beliefs (to) notice, identify, name, process, make time for, sit with, keep in mind, not get drawn into

• Sense of safety, trust (to) Assess, reassure, call to mind, remember, remind, provide support, keep in mind, ask about ❓Are there reasons it might be unsafe to do this? What kind of information do you need to decide? What’s hard to do about figuring out whether it’s safe in this particular situation?
• How might they see and understand me (to) model, assess, step into their shoes, remember, ask about, listen to, adjust course
• Status, Relationship Durability, Communication, Willingness to cooperate (to) assess, take into account, change, remember, remind, track over time, change, ignore, make space for, address