I was walking in the park when I really got it. Afterwards... I never looked at the world the same way again.

It's like that David Foster Walace story about fish. Have you ever heard that? It goes like this:

"There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water?”

Wallace said that "the point of the fish story is that the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about."

So... Imagine you know nothing about the world. You just woke up here, one blink ago, in this park, with a stone in your hand. But you don't know what a stone is or what a park is, let alone who you are. That's ok, don't panic. Just take a moment and start with the stone.

Close your eyes. How does it feel in your hand? Try to see it with your mind.

Open your eyes and hold the stone out in front of you. Now drop it.

Did it fall to the ground? You weren't born knowing that things fall.

You learned about stones as a very small human. You learned how they feel, how they sound, how they act. You touched and tasted and threw them. You found out what kind of a thing a stone is.

Now start walking around.

Look at the ground, cement, plants, whatever is there. Feel them, just by looking with your eyes.

What would happen if you picked things up and dropped them?

You can imagine all of these things because you have memories... memories of how things hold together. How a rock feels and drops, for example. What it would feel like if you fell on the ground right now...

These memories are in the world. They aren't a separate thing. You already perceive them.

Look around you right now.

Look at all of the memories. They almost seem to say what what they are and what they are like when you see them. That tree is hard and rough, that grass is soft and bendy.

And memories point to something else... possibilities. A tree with low branches seems climbable. The flat surface in front of you seems walk-on-able.

The stone your dropped earlier seems pick-up-able.

All of these possibilities are already there in the world, too. They are in the way you and the world combine into one thing.

Walk around a bit longer, and notice the depth of your memories and the presence of possibilities in everything you see, hear, touch, taste, and feel.

So hey there fish... this is water.

I can't pay attention to everything at once...

If I'm only aware of my shoes, I might not see a car coming.

But if I'm only aware of the cars, I might not notice that my shoe is untied.

And if I pay too much attention to my shoes and the cars, I might not notice when a raindrop falls on my shoulder.

My attention is like a filter. It makes certain things stand out.

I feel a pull of desire in my body. This is what it feels like to want to cross the street.

The road is flat and solid, and seems crossable. Moving cars seem dangerous.

If I slow down and put everything into words, I might think to myself, "I really want to get across the street safely." I experience a pre-verbal plan: "Look both ways for cars and start to walk". My mind is making sense of the situation in terms of practical outcomes.

But I begin to feel a bit anxious about crossing the street here in the middle of the block.

The people walking and driving along might not like that. They expect me to cross the road at the corner.

Again, slowing down and putting everything into words, I might think to myself, "I want to be a good pedestrian". So I decide follow expectations, and go down to the crosswalk. I'm making sense of the sitiuation in terms of meeting expectations.

At the corner, I see a child. She is waiting for the light to change.

There aren't any cars coming, and just as I'm about to run across, I feel a vague sense of panic.

Slowing down, and making the intuitive explicit, I might think to myself, "I don't want her to think it's ok to cross on red." So I decide to be a good role model. I look over at her and say, "always wait till the light is green!" I'm making sense of the situation in terms of setting expectations.

While we're waiting, I see a woman sitting outside of a cafe, whistling to herself in a half dream. She's looking at all the people walking by, and seems to be relaxing, not in a rush to be anywhere at all.

Once again, slowing down and making the experience explicit, I might think to myself "Wow, that's a good way to live. Just calmly enjoying the simple pleasures from moment to moment". I'm making sense of the situation in terms of personal values.

The light changes. I cross the street. And I realize...

My awareness just focused in four different ways:

My goal of crossing the street safely made cars stand out.

Noticing my own and other people's expectations made the crosswalk stand out.

Wanting to be a good role model made waiting for the light to change stand out.

These first three ways of focusing were about outcomes and the external world

But the fourth way my mind focused was internal... Admiring the whistling lady was not about what ought to happen or how I ought to be, but about how I could live a good life.

That is what it looks like when personal values guide my awareness.

If I'm only aware of other people's expectations, or how I think I ought to act, I might not notice that I'm not reaching my goals.

And if I'm only aware of my goals, I might not notice that I'm failing to meet other people's expectations or set a good example for them.

And while I'm busy focusing on outcomes and expectations, I might not realize my personal values are getting crowded out of my awareness entirely.

I can't pay attention to everything at once...

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GHOSTS (dickens) Characters that represent Goal, Norms, Ideological Commitments

Kid notices a value in each of them, decides that's what's actually important.

Finally kid goes to value

This is some hard-earned wisdom that you have gained through trial and error... maybe you experienced anger and hopelessness after days spent rushing around.

Some people say attention is like a spotlight.

There are so many things that I could pay attention to: cars, trees, bugs, my clothes, my body, my books.

And I can focus in on details: tires on the cars, leaves on the trees, the sleeves on my shirt, my left elbow.

There are A LOT of considerations guiding your choices here. They appear in your perception as in affordances (possible actions) and ways of proceeding:

You would notice your body and how it moves, where the sidewalk ends, where the cars are, that the road is uneven over there, how long it will take to cross, when it seems safe to start.

My awareness is the way that I make sense of things.

Now notice practical desires and fears and how they guide my awereness to making plans

gold & tiger stories

This might lead me to frame things like: I need to be disciplined so that I succeed in business...

schematic depth (how the world works): discipline makes people successful at business

Presence Landscape (what is possible): my body and mind are disciplinable, and business is something to succeed in. These are affordances of my environment, options and choices that appear alive and present to me. This is called the presence landscape.

I'm looking at practical goals and anti-goals. Salience landscape

We started with practical desires and fears. then we saw goals/anti-goals salience landscape, presence landscape. What happens when we turn to social desires and fears?

GOALS

Socialization, desire to fit in, group expectations at a party, tell-a-jokeable situation, conversations are listen-to-able, fear leads that corner to be stand-in-able

Salience landscape = social norms

MEETING EXPECTATIONS

My awareness narrows the number of things I could pay attention to. It chooses a much smaller set of things that I do pay attention to. Almost instantly, I am only aware of certain memories and possibilities.

Repeat for social modelling

Add Ideology

SETTING EXPECTATIONS

Listen: I am a self-world, full of memories, full of possibilities. Some parts are fuzzy and some are in focus.