Begin by thinking of a way that you used to approach something, but that has changed.
Examine the transition from the old to the new approach. Usually there is a conflict involved, some hard-earned wisdom that you gained along the way. Or maybe you found a new role model?
Old approach:
What happened?:
New approach:
Old approach: Plan what to say by attending to what effect it will have on other people (whether it will bring me closer to power/control/access to intimacy); GF.
What happened?: I got super into circling, did intense coaching for a year, and realized the depth to which I was doing this, and the ways that it actually prevented/fucked up intimacy in my life. I learned how to track my somatic truth signals.
New approach: As I'm speaking, attend closely to those somatic truth signals and don't say anything that I don't actually believe.
Once we've both outlined the story of our transitions, we will share our wisdom.
NoteāOur Ā»old approachesĀ« are often clearly polluted by goals, fears, social modelling/ideological commitments, and norms. If you have time, mark those with the following codes:
GF=goals/fears / MI=social modelling/ideology / SN=social norms / PV=personal values
Also mark them if they are still present in the Ā»new approachĀ«, or if new ones have arisen.
- What advice would I give my younger self? What was the experience that taught me that piece of advice?
GF= Goals/Fears /MI= Social Modelling/Ideology /SN= Social Norms /PV= Personal Values
Old approach: I was writing a big paper at the end of my university studies. I would show up in the library when it opened at 8am every morning. I thought I had to work long hours to become a successful academic (GF). I read all the books that my advisor recommended (SN), and made sure that I demonstrated leadership by being incredibly well prepared for all of my meetings with my study group (MI).
What happened?: I started to burn out. I didn't care about what I was learning anymore. The whole process felt empty and useless. I nearly dropped out of the program.
New approach: I realized that I needed to focus on following my curiosity wherever it leads (PV). I ended up finishing the paper, and going on to become a journalist because it allows me to pursue whatever subject fascinates me right now.