Much of what people assume is their "human nature" is actually software they can change. The most important thing to change is how you think about your own agency and choice-making.
Let me explain:
We can all think of people who consider different things obsessively when they make choices.
- you can probably think of somebody who thinks about which options are rationally consistent, but not which options are better for their well being.
- We know people who think obsessively about which options will have good optics or will make them accepted socially, but not which options are most expressive of their, what they understand to be their authentic self
- and so on
Most people don't have a balanced view of all the considerations that could be brought to bear on their choices.
People are blind to how many of their choices would work out differently (and better) if they considered other things.
And, and, in fact, we've noticed in our program, one kind of consideration, the one about expressiveness that I mentioned above that's an inspiration and appreciation that I mentioned above. That is under-considered in people's choice making and
So, one thing we do in our program is help you learn to make expressive choices:
Where before you might have only made strategic choices or status. Concerned choices, or and so on. This is an optional part of the course. But it can be very life changing and it's something your guide is prepared to help you with if you want
We think everyone needs a balance of considerations. And what we do is really help you adjust that balance
How We Help
the way we do this is first by working with you to understand what kinds of considerations you might be over considering.
- Do you think obsessively about what strategic how to advance your goals?
- Do you think obsessively about how to be likable? What kind of social performance will go off well?
- Do you think obsessively about climbing a status hierarchy or winning?
- Do you think obsessively about over much about your immediate preference? versus what expresses more than just your momentary preferences?
will give you a menu like this. And you can help us figure out where you're coming from. And then we'll give you games or experiences which articulate clearly. Which kinds of choices would be different if you considered if you were focused on other considerations, then your basic one for people who are focused on likeability out of character is a good game. For the other other overweight consideration types, we'll come up with a game for you. After the game, you should be able to see for yourself whether taking another consideration into account would be healthy for you.
This happens, most often, because of resignation or hopelessness about meaningful experience:
- Resignation: if you've decided you can't live by what's meaningful right now, but have to do something else first, like gain status, achieve goals, or avoid fears.
- Hopelessness: if the coordination required to live by your values seems impossible, so you've decided to content yourself with satisfying tastes, being likable, etc.
Often, these resignations and hopelessness are carried from earlier moments in life: perhaps it made sense to be resigned or hopeless about meaning in your family, for instance. But you might still be carrying that perspective into the present moment, and overlooking most possibilities for meaning.
In some cases, the root of this is in your childhood, and the shift may involve feeling through trauma. If you've had experience before the course with feeling through trauma, you should be fine. If not, that's something to talk about with your guide.