Part 1: The Story
Step back into your memory. Remember a situation in which you had an uncomfortable emotion (sadness, anger, hopelessness, etc.). It doesn't have to be a "big" emotion. Great values can be harvested from even small annoyances. For your first time, avoid emotions related to more general life problems or previous trauma. Try a situation that brought up challenging emotions that are linked to the situation itself.
Ask yourself: What was it like for you to actually be in the situation? Where were you? Who were you with? What happened? What emotions came up? How did they manifest in your body? What did you see, touch, taste, smell? Picture being there as vividly as you can. Sketch the outline of the story here:
I was with my son at the grocery store. The lady in front of us was paying a rather large grocery bill with coins. It was taking forever. I felt frustrated. There was a tightness in my chest, and I was clenching my teeth. I just wanted to get out of there and get on with my day.
Now simplify your story for this exercise
You've identified different emotions that came up. Decide on the one that was most clear and present. Think about what you were doing that caused that emotion.
Write down your emotion and what happened.
Example: I felt frustrated because I was stuck in line.
Part 2: The Value
Your negative emotion pointing to the fact that this scenario is not part of your good life. Now it’s time to meditate on what meaningful way of living you were not actualizing.
Start by reflecting on what way of being the emotion indicates
Find the emotion that came up on the list below and click on the toggle to find some questions. Challenging emotions point us towards values that were blocked, that we could not attend to, that were suppressed and so on.
You'll find several questions—pick the one that seems most helpful, and take notes.
Hint: If the emotion you wrote down does not match the emotions listed beneath, go for the one that is closest.
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being has no space here?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being is not safe to emerge?
What does this distract you from?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is blocked?
What way of being is not safe to emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
What way of being can you not bear to give up on?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
What way of being can you not bear to give up on?
Take Notes:
What's worth protecting?
What way of living is threatened?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living is overridden?
What value did you fail to live by?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you neglect?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you neglect?
What did you fail to prioritise?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living did you give up on?
What do you no longer trust yourself with?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What's worth recovering?
What way of living is estranged?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What is worth protecting?
What way of living is violated?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth honoring?
What way of living is lost for now?
What way of living has become impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth recentering around?
What way of living is out of focus?
What way of living do you not know how to bring to this?
What ways of living seem to be in conflict with each other?
Take Notes:
What's worth recentering around?
What way of living is out of focus?
What way of living do you not know how to bring to this?
What ways of living seem to be in conflict with each other?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living is unsafe to emerge?
What's worth identifying?
What way of living would allow the above emerge?
Take Notes:
What's worth demoting?
What way of living doesn't make sense anymore?
What's worth embracing?
What way of living will save the above?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
Take Notes:
What's worth nurturing?
What way of living seems impossible?
Take Notes:
And if you are up for it, ask can yourself even more questionsCan you think of someone who would have handled this situation well? How would they have approached it? (admiration)
When you think back, what advice would you give yourself in that situation? (reflection)
If you would ignore outcomes and expectations above, what way of approaching things or treating people would have seemed worthwhile anyway? (appreciation)
Then, using all of the information above, capture your wisdom by formulating an awareness-guiding "personal value phrase":
Hint: search for the "heart-opening, deeply relaxing yes" in your body when you formulate it.
🌳
From the example emotion story above (at the grocery store):
🌳 look for opportunities to connect with the people you happen to be around right now
Other example value phrases:
- 🌳 explore the complexity (and often absurdity) of how you and others view the situation, and how your desires and feelings interact
- 🌳 when receiving critical feedback, search for what the person is telling you is important to them, and honor that as sacred
- 🌳 notice the emotional state of the person in front of you, and how you feel about the relationship; use that information to respond to the moment
- 🌳 speak about the physical sensations in your body as well as the needs, fears, and desires that they seem to indicate