Paste Support Plan Here
Overview. Each player finds ways they think people shouldn't be. The group then agrees to support each other in trying out those »out of character« selves, and reflecting on the experience.
Thinking back: Norms vs Values in Action
"Shoulds"
Norms. Think back to situations when your actions were guided by a norm and how you felt in that moment. Try to remember 3 moments when you:
1. tried to set an example or pressured others to do something (set the norm, ideology, social modeling)
2. tried to meet an expectation, tried to fit in (followed a norm)
3. tried to pressure yourself to live up to a certain standard or image (followed an internalized norm)
"Coulds"
Values. Think back to situations when your actions were guided by a value and how you felt in that moment. Try to remember 2 moments when you:
1. observed a person being some way that was inspiring to you / you thought was really cool?
2. acted in a way that seemed like an expression of your self.
"Feelings"
Feeling patterns. Can you feel a difference in how you felt in your body when your actions were motivated by the shoulds (norms) vs the coulds (values)?
feelings in should moments:
feelings in could moments:
Emotions point at what is important to us. You might be joyful at the sight of an old friend, or angry when you feel some injustice has taken place. But upon reflection, our emotions are not only about external circumstances. They can also point us toward our values, “ways of being” that are important to us, and which were either expressed (tends to feel great) or suppressed (tends to feel crummy).
Method: Harvesting your values starting from emotions
Begin by thinking of a way that you used to approach something, but that has changed.
Examine the transition from the old to the new approach. Usually there is a conflict involved, some hard-earned wisdom that you gained along the way. Or maybe you found a new role model?
Old approach:
What happened?:
New approach:
Once we've both outlined the story of our transitions, we will share our wisdom.
Note—Our »old approaches« are often clearly polluted by goals, fears, social modelling/ideological commitments, and norms. If you have time, mark those with the following codes:
GF=goals/fears / MI=social modelling/ideology / SN=social norms / PV=personal values
Also mark them if they are still present in the »new approach«, or if new ones have arisen.
